My Say : "Plus Size" Models

Recently I read an article on cosmopolitan.com, which is rather ironic now that I've decided to write this post, anyway the article was called "Things you should never say to a fat girl". I came across it on Pinterest and took the bait thinking I'd end up with interweb rage, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a rather accurate and honest list of things that have the potential to really piss a fat girl off. The one that really had me nodding was this

I mean really? Nail head? Laura Beck totally hit it with that one with both points! Anyway, where was I going with this, oh that's right, I saw something on Facebook today that made this article even more profound for me.

Australian Cosmopolitan - March 2014

Can you see the irony yet? This is Australian Cosmo's March 2014 cover. It was all over Facebook about how wonderful and fabulous it was that a mainstream fashion mag had finally put a "plus size" model on it's cover. Now Robyn Lawley is stunning, do not mistake what I'm about to say as sledging this beautiful woman. My issue is with the fashion industry, society and the "fatshion" circles that are ok with calling this beautiful size 12 woman plus size! 

As a fat woman, I want to see the brands that I buy using models who are my size. I want to see what their clothes look like on an apple shaped size 24 woman, not on an hourglass shaped size 12/14 gal. But it really irks me when I see women like Robyn touted as "plus size". Do you know what message that sends to women and especially young girls? Imagine being a young impressionable girl who's a size 12 and already slightly subconscious about her body, because lets face it society paints a very clear image of what is "beautiful". Imagine then seeing this woman, this beautiful, real woman referred to as "plus size". Can you imagine what comes next? That one short statement has just added a shit load of pressure, insecurity and self doubt to an already overloaded young mind.

Lets look at the alternative scenario. Imagine being a fat woman who's spent the better part of her late twenties learning to love the body she's in, trying to undo all the negative thoughts, views and habits that have been thrust at her all her life. Imagine the kickback that comes when seeing Robyn referred to as "plus size". Imagine the negativity that sneaks through the cracks, the hard work that starts to unravel, the lingering self doubt that looms large.

You see it doesn't do anyone a service to label models by anything other than a size. Size is fact, everything else is open to interpretation and that's where the damage occurs. Robyn Lawley herself wants to be referred to as a model, plain and simple. Regardless of her size, she is a model, just like Miranda Kerr and Tess Munster are. Why do we, the societal we, have to put a label on everything?

Socially inept

Have you ever say in a room full of people and still felt alone? That's my current predicament, and funnily enough the room I'm in is filled with people and children I know. This often happens to me in large groups, I just seem to lose my place socially. 

I never have been great at social situations, I tend to hang back and wait for the conversation to come my way. When I do find someone to chat to I have a tendency to stretch the conversation so I don't find myself alone again. 

I think it goes back to my high school days. When we moved to a new school half way through the year it was hard to find my place. I got partnered up with a nice enough girl who was told to show me around. Apparently I didn't fit in with her friends and was quickly palmed off to another group. In hindsight it was probably a good thing because if they hadn't I might have got in to a lot more trouble in the following years. Anyway the group of girls that took me in were great. They accepted me for who I was. The following year my social skills expanded when a loud, in your face confident chick took me under her wing. She forced me out of my shell and we were best friends for the rest of high school. It was always just the two of us through those years. Of course we had other friends and her confidence rubbed off on me to a point where I found it easy to converse with almost anyone in our grade and not feel weird or awkward. These valuable skills she'd unknowingly taught me became second nature. 

After high school I lost contact with her. For the next few years though another friend from school and I became inseparable. Then we both met our future husbands and drifted apart. 

These days I don't have many girlfriends. It's something that makes me sad. It's not that I don't have any but I don't have that one girlfriend that I feel like I can talk to about anything at anytime. No BFF if you will. I have my husband who is my best friend and he's ALWAYS there for me. But every now and then, especially in large social settings like the one I'm currently sitting in, I just wish I had one best girlfriend to chat and laugh with and take the pressure and stress off.  Kids are a good buffer but I need to learn to deal with these things on my own I guess. 

For now I guess I'll hit publish on this little post and at least try to look a little bit more interested and approachable (while wishing I'd hidden vodka in my water bottle) for the next 50 mins  when I can finally head home to snuggle up on the couch with my husband, Miss Rosie and a good movie.

Have you had those feelings in large group? How do you deal with it?

2014

It seems like 2013 has flashed by in the blink of an eye. It wasn't a "big" year for us, quite the opposite actually. Nothing much happened, nothing much changed. I've plodded along in a frustrated haze of monotony for the most part. The last few years we've been living in a state of limbo, waiting for circumstances to change so we can move forward with our life. It's been a frustrating, anxious and weary time. Treading the waters of life sucks, it feels like everything is passing you by while you're struggling to stay afloat.

That's all going to change in 2014. Mr Mess and I have already made some major decisions that will force changes. We've basically thrown all our chips in the air and where they fall will dictate which road we venture down next. It's a scary, but exciting time for us and we, MM and I, are feeling content with the decision and much happier in general since having made it.

On a personal level, 2014 will see me continue on my journey to self discovery and love. I'll also be trying to make my health and happiness a priority. Regular exercise, nutritious food, lots of fresh air and sunshine, definitely what the doctor ordered. My new interest in fashion and style will no doubt continue to evolve as I continue to push my self to make more of an effort with my appearance. It's not second nature yet, but when I dress well and look polished, I feel good. 

I'm planning a photographic project to reignite my passion for the art. I've been so sporadic with the camera this year, it's actually depressing to go back through the archives because the reality is that I've missed so many moments and memories this year. One of my aims this year is to shoot "lifestyle" and "photojournalist" style pictures. Photos that depict my family's everyday life, not posed portraits which my kids hate. It's going to take some time, effort and a lot of learning which is great, exactly what I need to stoke the creative fire.

One of my goals for this year is to start documenting memories. Even though I've been snapping pictures at our big events I don't feel like I've been documenting the memories of our day to day life. I love looking through my family photo albums the sense of nostalgia always warms the cockles of my heart, I want to make sure my children have their childhood memories preserved too.  I don't have the patience, time or budget for traditional scrapbooking and I'm not really a big fan of the over the top styles anyway. So I'm looking at something simple an efficient something like the Project Life system by Beccy Higgins.

I'm keeping my resolutions and goals simple this year, mainly because I really tried to over complicate things last year and it all went to shit rather quickly. No deadlines or rules, but attainable goals and maintainable resolutions and a simple promise to check in once in a a while and let you know how things are going. For now this is what going up on my wall in front of my desk, it will be my motivational reminder for 2014.

Hello Goodbye : Daylight

I cannot believe it's October! Where on earth has the year gone? Incidentally did you know it's 78 days until Christmas?? ARRRGH Crazy!

I had planned for Hello Goodbye to be a weekly post, but I kind of got distracted. Never the less, here we are again.

This week I'm saying :

Goodbye/Hello School Holidays

We're just starting the second week of the spring school holidays here in Tassie. The boys have been quite content with the quiet week we had last week. I think they both really needed to rest and recuperate a little. This week will be fairly laid back as well. So far the only plans we have are to visit the cinemas to watch the new Disney movie, Planes. We're also hoping it warms up a little more so we can visit the local beach to do some exploring and fossicking.

Hello Meal Planning

For the last few months, I have been so slack with meal planning and boy has it cost me, both financially and health wise. I've fallen into a habit of shopping daily and on the days that we're busy, I'm not making good food choices for my family. It has to stop, so this week I'm going back to a written meal plan and weekly shop. Hopefully this will help keep my healthy eating on track.

Hello Blogging

I've missed the blogging community. I'm making it my mission this week to come up with ways to blog more regularly. I'm also thinking about the direction of my blog, trying to decide what topics I'm really interested in blogging about.

Hello Cherry Blossoms

It's that time of year again, my cherry blossom tree is starting to bloom. I have never seen it so heavy with buds. It's going to put on the most amazing show this year, I can't wait for it to be in full bloom.

I've noticed a funny happening on one of this years new branches. It's only a short branch, about 10 inches in length and it only has buds on the end. There are about a dozen buds concentrated in a clump right on the tip of the branch. It will be interesting to see all these little buds bloom.

Hello Daylight Savings

Saturday saw the start of Daylight Savings across most of the eastern seaboard of Australia. The boys were so excited to turn the clocks forward. DLS means longer days, which means more play! We take full advantage of the extra light, especially as the weather starts to warm up. We often take after dinner walks along the beach, have family and friends over for a bbq or even have picnic dinners at the local park. The boys are already taking advantage of the extra light and Rosie loves it when we're all out playing in the back yard.

But my absolute favourite part of DLS.........Enjoying this view every night.

Hello Goodbye is a weekly post series about reflecting on the past weekend and a look ahead to the coming week. Feel free to join in and leave your link in the comments.

Hello Goodbye : Spring

It's September, the month that we shake off the covers, open the windows and breath in the beautiful fresh Spring air. It's my absolute favourite season, the weather is warming and the garden is blossoming. 

This week I'm saying :

Farewell Mum

My mum has been visiting with us for the past four weeks. It's been wonderful having her here for such an extended stay but sadly her holiday is over and she's returned home again.

Hello Routine

With Mum gone, we've all got to re-adjust back into our normal routine.

Hello Rain

We've had some beautiful weather, alas it wasn't to last the rain is back for most of this week!

and last but not least

As swiftly as this year seems to be going, it feels like an eternity since last Spring. I'm so excited to see my bluebells budding and my peach tree is on the verge of full bloom already. Long time readers will know the pièce de résistance of Spring for me is my beloved cherry blossom. I am eagerly awaiting the first blossoms, though they are a way off yet. The peach tree that we planted just last year is putting on a fine show though and has provided me the opportunity to dust off the camera a few weeks early.

Hello Goodbye is a weekly post series about reflecting on the past weekend and a look ahead to the coming week. Feel free to join in and leave your link in the comments.