This blog is on hiatus while I take time to re-evaluate my blogging direction.

Socially inept

10 January 2014

Have you ever say in a room full of people and still felt alone? That's my current predicament, and funnily enough the room I'm in is filled with people and children I know. This often happens to me in large groups, I just seem to lose my place socially. 

I never have been great at social situations, I tend to hang back and wait for the conversation to come my way. When I do find someone to chat to I have a tendency to stretch the conversation so I don't find myself alone again. 

I think it goes back to my high school days. When we moved to a new school half way through the year it was hard to find my place. I got partnered up with a nice enough girl who was told to show me around. Apparently I didn't fit in with her friends and was quickly palmed off to another group. In hindsight it was probably a good thing because if they hadn't I might have got in to a lot more trouble in the following years. Anyway the group of girls that took me in were great. They accepted me for who I was. The following year my social skills expanded when a loud, in your face confident chick took me under her wing. She forced me out of my shell and we were best friends for the rest of high school. It was always just the two of us through those years. Of course we had other friends and her confidence rubbed off on me to a point where I found it easy to converse with almost anyone in our grade and not feel weird or awkward. These valuable skills she'd unknowingly taught me became second nature. 

After high school I lost contact with her. For the next few years though another friend from school and I became inseparable. Then we both met our future husbands and drifted apart. 

These days I don't have many girlfriends. It's something that makes me sad. It's not that I don't have any but I don't have that one girlfriend that I feel like I can talk to about anything at anytime. No BFF if you will. I have my husband who is my best friend and he's ALWAYS there for me. But every now and then, especially in large social settings like the one I'm currently sitting in, I just wish I had one best girlfriend to chat and laugh with and take the pressure and stress off.  Kids are a good buffer but I need to learn to deal with these things on my own I guess. 

For now I guess I'll hit publish on this little post and at least try to look a little bit more interested and approachable (while wishing I'd hidden vodka in my water bottle) for the next 50 mins  when I can finally head home to snuggle up on the couch with my husband, Miss Rosie and a good movie.

Have you had those feelings in large group? How do you deal with it?

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