My Say : "Plus Size" Models

Recently I read an article on cosmopolitan.com, which is rather ironic now that I've decided to write this post, anyway the article was called "Things you should never say to a fat girl". I came across it on Pinterest and took the bait thinking I'd end up with interweb rage, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a rather accurate and honest list of things that have the potential to really piss a fat girl off. The one that really had me nodding was this

I mean really? Nail head? Laura Beck totally hit it with that one with both points! Anyway, where was I going with this, oh that's right, I saw something on Facebook today that made this article even more profound for me.

Australian Cosmopolitan - March 2014

Can you see the irony yet? This is Australian Cosmo's March 2014 cover. It was all over Facebook about how wonderful and fabulous it was that a mainstream fashion mag had finally put a "plus size" model on it's cover. Now Robyn Lawley is stunning, do not mistake what I'm about to say as sledging this beautiful woman. My issue is with the fashion industry, society and the "fatshion" circles that are ok with calling this beautiful size 12 woman plus size! 

As a fat woman, I want to see the brands that I buy using models who are my size. I want to see what their clothes look like on an apple shaped size 24 woman, not on an hourglass shaped size 12/14 gal. But it really irks me when I see women like Robyn touted as "plus size". Do you know what message that sends to women and especially young girls? Imagine being a young impressionable girl who's a size 12 and already slightly subconscious about her body, because lets face it society paints a very clear image of what is "beautiful". Imagine then seeing this woman, this beautiful, real woman referred to as "plus size". Can you imagine what comes next? That one short statement has just added a shit load of pressure, insecurity and self doubt to an already overloaded young mind.

Lets look at the alternative scenario. Imagine being a fat woman who's spent the better part of her late twenties learning to love the body she's in, trying to undo all the negative thoughts, views and habits that have been thrust at her all her life. Imagine the kickback that comes when seeing Robyn referred to as "plus size". Imagine the negativity that sneaks through the cracks, the hard work that starts to unravel, the lingering self doubt that looms large.

You see it doesn't do anyone a service to label models by anything other than a size. Size is fact, everything else is open to interpretation and that's where the damage occurs. Robyn Lawley herself wants to be referred to as a model, plain and simple. Regardless of her size, she is a model, just like Miranda Kerr and Tess Munster are. Why do we, the societal we, have to put a label on everything?

Socially inept

Have you ever say in a room full of people and still felt alone? That's my current predicament, and funnily enough the room I'm in is filled with people and children I know. This often happens to me in large groups, I just seem to lose my place socially. 

I never have been great at social situations, I tend to hang back and wait for the conversation to come my way. When I do find someone to chat to I have a tendency to stretch the conversation so I don't find myself alone again. 

I think it goes back to my high school days. When we moved to a new school half way through the year it was hard to find my place. I got partnered up with a nice enough girl who was told to show me around. Apparently I didn't fit in with her friends and was quickly palmed off to another group. In hindsight it was probably a good thing because if they hadn't I might have got in to a lot more trouble in the following years. Anyway the group of girls that took me in were great. They accepted me for who I was. The following year my social skills expanded when a loud, in your face confident chick took me under her wing. She forced me out of my shell and we were best friends for the rest of high school. It was always just the two of us through those years. Of course we had other friends and her confidence rubbed off on me to a point where I found it easy to converse with almost anyone in our grade and not feel weird or awkward. These valuable skills she'd unknowingly taught me became second nature. 

After high school I lost contact with her. For the next few years though another friend from school and I became inseparable. Then we both met our future husbands and drifted apart. 

These days I don't have many girlfriends. It's something that makes me sad. It's not that I don't have any but I don't have that one girlfriend that I feel like I can talk to about anything at anytime. No BFF if you will. I have my husband who is my best friend and he's ALWAYS there for me. But every now and then, especially in large social settings like the one I'm currently sitting in, I just wish I had one best girlfriend to chat and laugh with and take the pressure and stress off.  Kids are a good buffer but I need to learn to deal with these things on my own I guess. 

For now I guess I'll hit publish on this little post and at least try to look a little bit more interested and approachable (while wishing I'd hidden vodka in my water bottle) for the next 50 mins  when I can finally head home to snuggle up on the couch with my husband, Miss Rosie and a good movie.

Have you had those feelings in large group? How do you deal with it?

Being Me

I’ve long been a proponent of self love, it’s something I’ll always continue to work on. My ideas about self love are evolving. Where once it was about learning to like my body, it’s now about learning to love and respect all of me. This means respecting my body enough to nourish it with good wholesome food instead of garbage. It means supporting my mental health by cutting out the negative talk and partaking in activities that make me feel happy. It means nurturing my creativity, every single day.

I don’t have all the answers, far from it, but I want to start living the life I’ve been given in the best possible way. 

Time

When I was a kid, I remember rolling my eyes when I heard adults say that time flew by. They'd bang on about the days and weeks flashing by in an instant and how quickly us kids were growing up. I rolled my eyes because I thought it was the biggest over exaggeration.

To me it felt like time practically stood still. At the start of every school year, it seemed like next summer was an eternity away. It took forever for my birthday to roll around and weeks seemed to last an age. Even days had a way of dragging on so much that I thought I might surely die of boredom.

As I got older things started to change. The working week would drag on but the weekend would skip by. When I met my now husband, we lived in different states and only saw each other every six weeks for a while. The time between our visits went so slow and yet no sooner had a weekend together begun, it would be over before we knew it.

And then you have kids. It starts when the second pink line appears. Time seems to pick up a little speed.  At the beginning 9 months seems like a long time, but between doctors visits, ultrasounds and all the shopping, the weeks flash by. Pretty soon you're packing bags and making that exciting/terrifying trip to the hospital to bring a new life into the world. 

But it doesn't end there. That teeny tiny newborn magically turns into a toddler in no time and before you know it your packing the little darlings off to their first day of school. Days begin to blur and one week melds into the next. School, work, meals, chores, it all seems to blend together in a haze of routine.

That's where I am in this life, smack bang in the middle of routine. I have an innate longing to press the pause button and to just take some time out. Time out to find my path, to get focused, to just be with my little family, to be happy. The weeks and months seem to flying past at record speeds and I'm absolutely gob-smacked to find myself in June already.

I'm sure I'm not the only who feels like time is moving faster, but I'm often sure that I'm the only one who feels like time is slipping away. Some days I feel like I'm missing it. Missing life, it's meaning, my purpose, everything.

So what is one to do when the pause button isn't any option? Take it one day at a time? Make time? Focus on the joy in everyday? Take risks? Start doing? Perhaps it's all of the above. This journey to self discovery and love sure is hard work, but as they say nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy.