Change #1 – Walking
I've always loathed exercise, hated even the thought of it. But
a few months ago, I visited the GP for something minor and I left having had a
full set of blood tests done. Let’s just say that the results, while not
completely unexpected, were quite the wakeup call. To be told I was heading
towards a slew of medications at the tender age of 31, was slightly alarming to
say the least. So I decided to buy myself a pair of sneakers and start walking.
After all, since ‘The Wrecker’ started school this year I’ve got three days
each week to myself. So that’s what I'm doing. Each Monday, Wednesday and Thursday
I pull on my sneakers, crank up the tunes on my iPhone and walk. If you follow
my instagram feed, you will have seen the shots of our beautiful local beach
that I walk along. I started out doing about 1.5kms and now I'm up to 4kms. To
my amazement, it hasn't been hard and I am really enjoying it. I feel much
better within myself, happier, more positive, less moody and less stressed. It’s
been a very positive change.
Change #2 – Loving myself
That probably sounds self-indulgent, but it’s something most
women should think about. About the same time that I started walking, I started
to feel restless with the way I look. Not in the way that you might think. It
dawned on me one day that twelve years ago when I met Mr Mess, I never left the
house without make-up my hair was always done and I wouldn't be caught dead
making a trip to Woolies in my trackies. Apparently twelve years, one husband,
two kids and one dog can (and does) change a girl. I got to thinking that
perhaps one of the big reasons why I'm not happy with the way I look is because
I don’t put a whole lot of effort in. But why would I? I hated my body, loathed
it and when I dislike something to that extent, I tend to ignore it. Well, no
more I decided. I went and got all my hair cut off, I started a new skincare
routine and I made the effort to put on a little make-up even if I was only
dropping the boys off at school. I went in search of wardrobe inspiration, I
turned to the fatshion bloggers of the world to see how other plus size women
embraced their size and dressed for themselves rather than society. In my
travels I discovered Jessica Kane. This woman, her outlook on life and
enthusiasm for fashion, has single-handedly changed my attitude towards being a
plus size woman. Although it’s hard to change a lifetime of self-loathing and negative
internal dialogue, I'm well on my way to self-acceptance, inner peace and
happiness.
Change #3 – Ambition
I've had a long held dream of opening up my own little cupcake
shop. While, my husband is right behind the idea and I know in my heart that I
could rock the socks off the idea, I’m realistic. Such a venture takes a lot of
moolah to get started and while I’m hopeful of one day achieving this, at the
moment it’s a pipe dream. <--- That there is one big realisation that’s been
two years in the making. I held on to this dream with two hands for so long, we
tried so hard to realise it and it wasn't easy to loosen my grip but I have and
that in itself in making way for more changes. I'm trying to work out what else
there is in this world that I can “do” with my life. I still feel a little
lost, but I do still have a drive to succeed and excel. For so long I’ve
defined myself as a mother and wife, but that’s no longer enough. Perhaps is a belated
quarter life crisis. Possibly it’s a premature mid-life crisis. Maybe all
mothers go through this at some point. Whatever the reason is, this need to be
someone other than Mum, seems to be a driving force. All I ever wanted was to
be a Mum and now I want, I need, so much more.
I'm excited to see where these simple changes will take me. I'm looking forward to sharing more of the real Emma, as I find out just who she
is.
I can identify with a lot of that. Well done on getting your head around WHAT the unease was and addressing it, so impressed. Proud of you, lady. Still think you could do a cook at home and ship to order thang....
ReplyDeleteYay! Hello Stranger :)
ReplyDeleteLovely post. Thanks for updating us with your recent happenings and focus.
I love it all Em. Seems like 2012 has been your year for some soul-searching?!
I too have been at that little mid-life-mummy crisis of what I what in my life, and where I'm heading {career-wise and time-wise}. I'm coming to some contentment and answers now I think :)
I can't wait to visit your cupcake store one day & sip coffee and indulge in your baked goodness :)))
xx