My Say : "Plus Size" Models

Recently I read an article on cosmopolitan.com, which is rather ironic now that I've decided to write this post, anyway the article was called "Things you should never say to a fat girl". I came across it on Pinterest and took the bait thinking I'd end up with interweb rage, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a rather accurate and honest list of things that have the potential to really piss a fat girl off. The one that really had me nodding was this

I mean really? Nail head? Laura Beck totally hit it with that one with both points! Anyway, where was I going with this, oh that's right, I saw something on Facebook today that made this article even more profound for me.

Australian Cosmopolitan - March 2014

Can you see the irony yet? This is Australian Cosmo's March 2014 cover. It was all over Facebook about how wonderful and fabulous it was that a mainstream fashion mag had finally put a "plus size" model on it's cover. Now Robyn Lawley is stunning, do not mistake what I'm about to say as sledging this beautiful woman. My issue is with the fashion industry, society and the "fatshion" circles that are ok with calling this beautiful size 12 woman plus size! 

As a fat woman, I want to see the brands that I buy using models who are my size. I want to see what their clothes look like on an apple shaped size 24 woman, not on an hourglass shaped size 12/14 gal. But it really irks me when I see women like Robyn touted as "plus size". Do you know what message that sends to women and especially young girls? Imagine being a young impressionable girl who's a size 12 and already slightly subconscious about her body, because lets face it society paints a very clear image of what is "beautiful". Imagine then seeing this woman, this beautiful, real woman referred to as "plus size". Can you imagine what comes next? That one short statement has just added a shit load of pressure, insecurity and self doubt to an already overloaded young mind.

Lets look at the alternative scenario. Imagine being a fat woman who's spent the better part of her late twenties learning to love the body she's in, trying to undo all the negative thoughts, views and habits that have been thrust at her all her life. Imagine the kickback that comes when seeing Robyn referred to as "plus size". Imagine the negativity that sneaks through the cracks, the hard work that starts to unravel, the lingering self doubt that looms large.

You see it doesn't do anyone a service to label models by anything other than a size. Size is fact, everything else is open to interpretation and that's where the damage occurs. Robyn Lawley herself wants to be referred to as a model, plain and simple. Regardless of her size, she is a model, just like Miranda Kerr and Tess Munster are. Why do we, the societal we, have to put a label on everything?

Socially inept

Have you ever say in a room full of people and still felt alone? That's my current predicament, and funnily enough the room I'm in is filled with people and children I know. This often happens to me in large groups, I just seem to lose my place socially. 

I never have been great at social situations, I tend to hang back and wait for the conversation to come my way. When I do find someone to chat to I have a tendency to stretch the conversation so I don't find myself alone again. 

I think it goes back to my high school days. When we moved to a new school half way through the year it was hard to find my place. I got partnered up with a nice enough girl who was told to show me around. Apparently I didn't fit in with her friends and was quickly palmed off to another group. In hindsight it was probably a good thing because if they hadn't I might have got in to a lot more trouble in the following years. Anyway the group of girls that took me in were great. They accepted me for who I was. The following year my social skills expanded when a loud, in your face confident chick took me under her wing. She forced me out of my shell and we were best friends for the rest of high school. It was always just the two of us through those years. Of course we had other friends and her confidence rubbed off on me to a point where I found it easy to converse with almost anyone in our grade and not feel weird or awkward. These valuable skills she'd unknowingly taught me became second nature. 

After high school I lost contact with her. For the next few years though another friend from school and I became inseparable. Then we both met our future husbands and drifted apart. 

These days I don't have many girlfriends. It's something that makes me sad. It's not that I don't have any but I don't have that one girlfriend that I feel like I can talk to about anything at anytime. No BFF if you will. I have my husband who is my best friend and he's ALWAYS there for me. But every now and then, especially in large social settings like the one I'm currently sitting in, I just wish I had one best girlfriend to chat and laugh with and take the pressure and stress off.  Kids are a good buffer but I need to learn to deal with these things on my own I guess. 

For now I guess I'll hit publish on this little post and at least try to look a little bit more interested and approachable (while wishing I'd hidden vodka in my water bottle) for the next 50 mins  when I can finally head home to snuggle up on the couch with my husband, Miss Rosie and a good movie.

Have you had those feelings in large group? How do you deal with it?

2014

It seems like 2013 has flashed by in the blink of an eye. It wasn't a "big" year for us, quite the opposite actually. Nothing much happened, nothing much changed. I've plodded along in a frustrated haze of monotony for the most part. The last few years we've been living in a state of limbo, waiting for circumstances to change so we can move forward with our life. It's been a frustrating, anxious and weary time. Treading the waters of life sucks, it feels like everything is passing you by while you're struggling to stay afloat.

That's all going to change in 2014. Mr Mess and I have already made some major decisions that will force changes. We've basically thrown all our chips in the air and where they fall will dictate which road we venture down next. It's a scary, but exciting time for us and we, MM and I, are feeling content with the decision and much happier in general since having made it.

On a personal level, 2014 will see me continue on my journey to self discovery and love. I'll also be trying to make my health and happiness a priority. Regular exercise, nutritious food, lots of fresh air and sunshine, definitely what the doctor ordered. My new interest in fashion and style will no doubt continue to evolve as I continue to push my self to make more of an effort with my appearance. It's not second nature yet, but when I dress well and look polished, I feel good. 

I'm planning a photographic project to reignite my passion for the art. I've been so sporadic with the camera this year, it's actually depressing to go back through the archives because the reality is that I've missed so many moments and memories this year. One of my aims this year is to shoot "lifestyle" and "photojournalist" style pictures. Photos that depict my family's everyday life, not posed portraits which my kids hate. It's going to take some time, effort and a lot of learning which is great, exactly what I need to stoke the creative fire.

One of my goals for this year is to start documenting memories. Even though I've been snapping pictures at our big events I don't feel like I've been documenting the memories of our day to day life. I love looking through my family photo albums the sense of nostalgia always warms the cockles of my heart, I want to make sure my children have their childhood memories preserved too.  I don't have the patience, time or budget for traditional scrapbooking and I'm not really a big fan of the over the top styles anyway. So I'm looking at something simple an efficient something like the Project Life system by Beccy Higgins.

I'm keeping my resolutions and goals simple this year, mainly because I really tried to over complicate things last year and it all went to shit rather quickly. No deadlines or rules, but attainable goals and maintainable resolutions and a simple promise to check in once in a a while and let you know how things are going. For now this is what going up on my wall in front of my desk, it will be my motivational reminder for 2014.

Hello Goodbye : Daylight

I cannot believe it's October! Where on earth has the year gone? Incidentally did you know it's 78 days until Christmas?? ARRRGH Crazy!

I had planned for Hello Goodbye to be a weekly post, but I kind of got distracted. Never the less, here we are again.

This week I'm saying :

Goodbye/Hello School Holidays

We're just starting the second week of the spring school holidays here in Tassie. The boys have been quite content with the quiet week we had last week. I think they both really needed to rest and recuperate a little. This week will be fairly laid back as well. So far the only plans we have are to visit the cinemas to watch the new Disney movie, Planes. We're also hoping it warms up a little more so we can visit the local beach to do some exploring and fossicking.

Hello Meal Planning

For the last few months, I have been so slack with meal planning and boy has it cost me, both financially and health wise. I've fallen into a habit of shopping daily and on the days that we're busy, I'm not making good food choices for my family. It has to stop, so this week I'm going back to a written meal plan and weekly shop. Hopefully this will help keep my healthy eating on track.

Hello Blogging

I've missed the blogging community. I'm making it my mission this week to come up with ways to blog more regularly. I'm also thinking about the direction of my blog, trying to decide what topics I'm really interested in blogging about.

Hello Cherry Blossoms

It's that time of year again, my cherry blossom tree is starting to bloom. I have never seen it so heavy with buds. It's going to put on the most amazing show this year, I can't wait for it to be in full bloom.

I've noticed a funny happening on one of this years new branches. It's only a short branch, about 10 inches in length and it only has buds on the end. There are about a dozen buds concentrated in a clump right on the tip of the branch. It will be interesting to see all these little buds bloom.

Hello Daylight Savings

Saturday saw the start of Daylight Savings across most of the eastern seaboard of Australia. The boys were so excited to turn the clocks forward. DLS means longer days, which means more play! We take full advantage of the extra light, especially as the weather starts to warm up. We often take after dinner walks along the beach, have family and friends over for a bbq or even have picnic dinners at the local park. The boys are already taking advantage of the extra light and Rosie loves it when we're all out playing in the back yard.

But my absolute favourite part of DLS.........Enjoying this view every night.

Hello Goodbye is a weekly post series about reflecting on the past weekend and a look ahead to the coming week. Feel free to join in and leave your link in the comments.

Hello Goodbye : Spring

It's September, the month that we shake off the covers, open the windows and breath in the beautiful fresh Spring air. It's my absolute favourite season, the weather is warming and the garden is blossoming. 

This week I'm saying :

Farewell Mum

My mum has been visiting with us for the past four weeks. It's been wonderful having her here for such an extended stay but sadly her holiday is over and she's returned home again.

Hello Routine

With Mum gone, we've all got to re-adjust back into our normal routine.

Hello Rain

We've had some beautiful weather, alas it wasn't to last the rain is back for most of this week!

and last but not least

As swiftly as this year seems to be going, it feels like an eternity since last Spring. I'm so excited to see my bluebells budding and my peach tree is on the verge of full bloom already. Long time readers will know the pièce de résistance of Spring for me is my beloved cherry blossom. I am eagerly awaiting the first blossoms, though they are a way off yet. The peach tree that we planted just last year is putting on a fine show though and has provided me the opportunity to dust off the camera a few weeks early.

Hello Goodbye is a weekly post series about reflecting on the past weekend and a look ahead to the coming week. Feel free to join in and leave your link in the comments.

Being Me

I’ve long been a proponent of self love, it’s something I’ll always continue to work on. My ideas about self love are evolving. Where once it was about learning to like my body, it’s now about learning to love and respect all of me. This means respecting my body enough to nourish it with good wholesome food instead of garbage. It means supporting my mental health by cutting out the negative talk and partaking in activities that make me feel happy. It means nurturing my creativity, every single day.

I don’t have all the answers, far from it, but I want to start living the life I’ve been given in the best possible way. 

Time

When I was a kid, I remember rolling my eyes when I heard adults say that time flew by. They'd bang on about the days and weeks flashing by in an instant and how quickly us kids were growing up. I rolled my eyes because I thought it was the biggest over exaggeration.

To me it felt like time practically stood still. At the start of every school year, it seemed like next summer was an eternity away. It took forever for my birthday to roll around and weeks seemed to last an age. Even days had a way of dragging on so much that I thought I might surely die of boredom.

As I got older things started to change. The working week would drag on but the weekend would skip by. When I met my now husband, we lived in different states and only saw each other every six weeks for a while. The time between our visits went so slow and yet no sooner had a weekend together begun, it would be over before we knew it.

And then you have kids. It starts when the second pink line appears. Time seems to pick up a little speed.  At the beginning 9 months seems like a long time, but between doctors visits, ultrasounds and all the shopping, the weeks flash by. Pretty soon you're packing bags and making that exciting/terrifying trip to the hospital to bring a new life into the world. 

But it doesn't end there. That teeny tiny newborn magically turns into a toddler in no time and before you know it your packing the little darlings off to their first day of school. Days begin to blur and one week melds into the next. School, work, meals, chores, it all seems to blend together in a haze of routine.

That's where I am in this life, smack bang in the middle of routine. I have an innate longing to press the pause button and to just take some time out. Time out to find my path, to get focused, to just be with my little family, to be happy. The weeks and months seem to flying past at record speeds and I'm absolutely gob-smacked to find myself in June already.

I'm sure I'm not the only who feels like time is moving faster, but I'm often sure that I'm the only one who feels like time is slipping away. Some days I feel like I'm missing it. Missing life, it's meaning, my purpose, everything.

So what is one to do when the pause button isn't any option? Take it one day at a time? Make time? Focus on the joy in everyday? Take risks? Start doing? Perhaps it's all of the above. This journey to self discovery and love sure is hard work, but as they say nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy. 

Ping

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a pin dropping. It's pretty clear that my 2013 goals have flown out the window. What's it been six weeks? Hardly the regular blogging that I was aiming for but oh well.

 So do you want an update? Well I could tell you all the things I haven't been doing, but that would be depressing. I've done all the normal mummy stuff, school runs, play dates, dentist visits, birthdays etc etc. I spent a week nagging nursing my husband back to health from a horrible lung infection. I've been crafting a little, designing a lot and even dusted off the camera once or twice. But it seems I've found a new vice. Movies.

I've always been a procrastinator, something my mother will surely attest to. It started one day a few weeks ago when I decided to put off the washing and housework (I can hear my mother laughing from here) and catch up on Downton Abbey and a couple of other things I'd previously recorded.

Since then I've been almost obsessively watching my way through our dvd collection and collating a wishlist of title to aquire. It's such an effective way to escape the day to day monotony that life can be. I know I could be doing something more productive with the time but this quote has become my mantra.

Have you watched any good movies lately?

It hurts

My heart, it hurts this afternoon.

A wonderful woman I know is going through one of the hardest things a mother can possibly face.

I wish it wasn't happening. I wish it never happened, to anyone.

My heart hurts for her whole family.

I wish I had more to offer than these simple but so very true words.

I will remember, always. Just as you do for me.

My love to you all.

Get moving {My motivation}

I've never been one for exercise. In fact my whole life has been spent avoiding it. Just the word would make my feet feel like lead weights. It's something I associate with doing the washing, ironing, cleaning, just another chore really and I don't "do" chores. I mean I do what I have to or need to, but if I had to choose between that third load of washing and facebook, you know what wins right? Facebook. Exercise is the same.

Part of my resolutions for 2013 is to move more. See that, no sign of the E word. Just move. I lead a very sedentary lifestyle. Even before kids, I never made an effort to move purposefully. Since having kids I've been even worse. Truth be told, I'm still carrying the "baby weight" from my first child who, incidentally,  turns 10 next month! Now it should be said that the only goal I have is to do some sort of movement 5 days a week. No weight loss goals, no size goals, I'm trying to change my lifestyle here not my appearance. 

While the sun is shining my favourite way to move is by going for a walk along my favourite beach. There's something about this place. I've talked about it before, but it is my happy place, it soothes my spirit and re-energises me every time I go there. 

Click to enlarge.

The walk I do is about 3.5klms long. I park at the local surf club and hit the pavement walking along a road that's behind the beach for the first half. I can smell the sea, hear it even, it's just on the other side of the protected sand dunes. After I loop back, I cut through the dunes and walk the second half along the beach. The pay off point comes when I get to the western end of the beach and loop back towards the surf club. I'm always rewarded at this point with a fresh breeze and gorgeous view. When I'm back at the surf club, I take my runners off and dip my feet in the cold waters of Bass Strait. I stand a let the waves wash over my hot, tired feet. I watch the sun sparkle across the water and breathe in the fresh salty air. And for whatever reason, my troubles melt away and the world doesn't seem like such a troublesome place.

Anything that has that sort effect on you, is surely good for you. Is it any wonder I'm looking forward to my morning walk tomorrow?

2013 Goals : March { Moving Forward }

Well February was just an abysmal failure at every level. No goals set or reached, barely a blog post written and only a handful of photos taken. Perhaps it was the chaos that goes along with the start of the new school year, I don't know. What I do know is that even all of the goals I managed to reach in January went out the window last month. So I guess I'll just write it off and move on to March.

I'm going to ease myself back in to the blogging world this month. Who knows what I'll be posting about over the next few weeks, but I'll be striving to be more me than ever before.

Kick the soft drink (again)

Yes, the goal that I reached in January has been entirely undone (sadface). 

Time to switch back to bio-body fuel (H20).

Walk

I've already started walking again and I just can't believe I haven't done it for so long. I really feel so much better within myself after a walk. The beach plays such a big part in it, I just feel reinvigorated and reconnected afterwards. Definitely an important goal for the health of my mind, body and soul.

Get making

I promised myself last year that I'd make time this year to craft, sew and bake. Time to get on that. I like making things. It makes me happy.

Inspiring spaces

This is a recycled one that I didn't complete in January. I need an inspiring space to be creative. I have the space set aside, I just need to make it inspiring.

Cover it already

I've been looking for a new phone cover for months. I keep going back and forth and procrastinating over it (like it's some major life decision). Bling, words, stripes, I just can't freakin decide! I think it's about time I got over it and pick out a new phone cover.

Let's see how far the next 28 days take me.

Have you made any goals for March? Feel free to leave a link in the comments.

Body+ : My view

On my quest to find the real me, I’ve discovered that I feel rather passionate about the issue of body image.  Over the past few months I’ve come to realise that women and girls the world over put so much time, money and brainpower into trying to attain society’s very skewed and unrealistic beauty ideals. How different would our lives be if we’d invested all those resources toward behaviours and activities that enrich our lives with  purpose, meaning and a positive sense of self.

I’ve spent so much of my life hating my body. I hated it for being fat, round, slow and ugly when I was a teenager. In my late teens/early twenties I hated my body because it never matched the vision of beauty that I had in my mind. When it came time to having kids, I hated my body because it wouldn’t work the way it should, because it let me down. Then after I finally had my boys, I hated my body because I knew it would NEVER fit that warped cookie cutter vision of beauty.  Do you know what happens to a woman who spends two-thirds of her short life, hating herself for the way she looks? Her body, mind and spirit end up broken by abuse and neglect.

Found via Pinterest originally from http://www.thehiyl.com/

I’m now 31 and I will fix this. Piece by piece, little by little I will right the wrongs. What I need is a little TLC. My mind, body and spirit deserve respect and a whole lot of love.

The main objective of Body+ (here in my little corner of the blogosphere) is to learn to love my body and hopefully to help you love yours more too. Through inspiring quotes and articles I find as well as my own thoughts and ideas, I'll be travelling along this important road to a better and happier me. Will you come with me?

Aussie Curves : Swimwear

I've been meaning to join in with the Aussie Curves Outfit Challenge for a few weeks now but I just kept getting distracted. Kind of interesting that the week that I do finally get around to joining in, the theme is swimwear.

One Piece : Lily & Lou for Best and Less
Sarong : Homemade

For a long time I've refused to don a pair of togs. It wasn't that I didn't want to go swimming, I was worried about what other people would think. I was worried about the potential snide remarks, sideways glances, snickers. I wasn't always like that though, I distinctly remember donning a cute little red bikini one summer when I was about 19. Post first child, I'd happily go swimming without giving my newly acquired softness a thought. But after the second one (kid that is) my body really changed and my self esteem just went south. I sat on the sidelines and watched my kids have fun in the water with Mr Mess, my SIL, everyone but me.

Something clicked last summer though. I was sitting watching the boys play in the local pool with my two SILs and thought to myself, why the fuck am I doing this. I was sitting on the sidelines missing out on having loads of fun with my boys all because of what some stranger might think?! As I said, things finally clicked.

Since then I haven't looked back. I happily suit up for a dip with the boys whether it's in our backyard blow up pool or at our nearest aquatic centre. I haven't had the courage (for want of a better word) to go board-short-less in public, but at home I do. Perhaps a swim skirt is the next step, next summer.

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Wardrobe Wishlist : Jackets

With summer close to its end, I've begun to think about my winter wardrobe. Jackets and cardigans are high on my list of my winter staples. Last year I only had two jackets and one cardi which I found just wasn't enough. I got to a point where I felt like I was wearing the same outfits all the time. This year I'm on the look out for a plain black fitted blazer, an over coat and another relaxed, comfy cardi.

 I love these pieces, they're definitely on my wardrobe wishlist.

City Chic - Ponte Peplum Jacket - $99.95

City Chic - One button jacket - $99.95

ASOS CURVE Waterfall Cardigan - $46

City Chic - Drape Cardi - $49.95

ASOS CURVE Fit And Flare Coat - $116

I'm looking forward to seeing what my other favourite stores bring out for winter.

OOTW : Coloured Jeans

I've had a busy week so this week's OOTW was a quick couple of snap shots with my phone.

Top : Kmart

Jeans : City Chic

Shoes : BigW

I love these hot pink jeans, I'm still playing with them to see what works and what doesn't. I'll definitely be adding more coloured jeans to my wardrobe this winter.

Month in review : January

Can you believe it's February already? Last year went so fast, it looks like 2013 is going to be the same. It's been a pretty relaxing month for us despite how quickly it's gone. There's been lots of swimming, family time and just general chilling out.

This is what January looked like according to Instagram.

At the beginning of the month I set some goals, let's see how I did.

1. Clean It Up. (I'm notoriously messy, always have been. I want to reign in the chaos that is our master bedroom.) Still working on it. I started then it got messy again. It's an ongoing project ;)
2. Create An Inspired Space. (I bought a desk to sit in the corner of our bedroom and I've never actually sat at it to work. Crazy. It's just not inspiring.) Pfft not even close.
3. OOTW. (Sort out an appropriate set up, the kid room iPhone snaps just aren't going to cut the mustard.) Sorted something better for now.
4. Blog. (Schedule posts, brainstorm ideas, participate in the blogging community more.) It's still coming together.
5. Stock It. (Finish filling my new Etsy.com store with items, 15 at least) Still working on it.
6. Promote It. (Start promoting my new Etys.com store, blog ads, facebook, twitter, etc) Stared.
7. H20 Only! (I'm avoiding softdrinks, both full strength and diet, juices and cordials for January.) DONE-SKI Woohoo!
8. Clean Eating. (Wholes, homemade, nutritious food.) Sort of, I know I can do better.
9. Snap Daily. (Participate consistently in FMS photo a day challenge.) Done
10. Be Thankful. (Keep a weekly thankful/grateful journal) Done

Not too bad. Now that the kids are about to go back to school, hopefully I'll be more motivated to get the bedroom tidied and make my desk more inspiring.

I'll be back tomorrow with my goals for February :)

Permission?

This quest to find the real me was starting to feel a little too self indulgent and high maintenance. I mean I know it's not an easy thing to do, but should I really be focusing on this journey and making myself a priority?

I cam across two articles this week that helped me answer that question. The first was an awesome blog post (actually the whole blog is awesome) written by Gala Darling - How to cope with a quarter-life crisis. Now everybody has heard of a mid-life crisis, I'd even heard the term quarter-life crisis but had never given it much thought. When I came across Gala's post, it really hit home, this is me. As I went through her symptoms list, checking things off it became clear, this is where I am in my life.

• Feeling like you’re not doing well enough. CHECK
• Frustration & disillusionment with the working world. CHECK
• Feeling insecure about what you’re doing, where you’re going & what your plans are. CHECK
• Anxiety over close relationships. Not so much
• Feeling extremely bored with your social life (otherwise known as, “Oh my god, I will throw myself out the window if I have to go to another party at her house”) Somewhat
• Nostalgia for teenage years, high school or university (this often manifests itself as an obsession with looking at old photographs or reading journals & reminiscing) CHECK
• Feeling a desperate need to “settle down” — like buy a house, get married or have a baby. NO!
• ...Or conversely, wanting to “escape” the real world — like backpacking around the world or finding a nice cave to live in. MAJOR CHECK
• Financial stress or confusion. CHECK
• Intense loneliness. Not so much
• Feeling that everyone is doing better than you. CHECK
• Terror at the concept of getting “old”. Not so much
• Wondering “Is that all there is?” MAJOR CHECK
• A vague feeling of apathy, mixed with horror, panic & depression. CHECK

With this info, I decided to google that shit. How many other women have been through this and were kind enough to share their thoughts and lessons? Google gave me some answers, 40 million actually but I haven't gone through all of them lol. I found a few interesting accounts, like this one. But after a while I went back to Gala's post and devoured the rest of it. She gives some pretty bloody good advice and insights.

The thing I realised was that in order to be me, to find out who I really am, what I want to do, how I want to live, I've got to invest invest in this journey. I have to have patience and faith in myself. I have to take it slowly, listen to my inner voice and stay curious. If I don't do these things for me, who will?

So, permission granted. I will make myself and this journey a priority.

OOTW : RaRa Dress

I love this dress! I wore it for the first time this week since buying it just after Christmas. Such a comfy dress to wear and I love the ra-ra style, takes me back to my youth. I teamed it with some of the other bargains I got, to complete the ensemble. Total outfit cost = $40! Gotta be happy with that.

Dress : Autograph

Belt : Autograph

Shoes : Target

New Direction

I realised recently that I've been neglecting this little blog because it became something that I didn't intend it to. This was supposed to be my space, but like so often happens things veer in a different direction. So I'm taking back the reins.

Like most women, I am many things to many people, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. But this blog is my space. It's not a just a "mummy blog" any more. Of course that part of my life will still feature, but I'm at a point in my life where it's not all about the kids. This year I've decided to be a bit selfish. I'm investing in myself, learning to be me and discovering who I really am. This journey is one of the things I want to share on this blog.

So what else can you expect? More of the stuff that makes me happy. The fashion stuff is fun, that's definitely staying. The Body+ stuff is really important to me, that'll feature too. Lessons learnt, universal ponderings, superficial shit, opinionated rants, more me.

So stick around, if you're interested. If your not, thanks for stopping by.

Body+

In a nutshell this is what Body+ (body positive) is all about. It's about being positive about your body, loving it for what it is and does.

Today women are slammed with thousands of images that tell them they aren't perfect, good enough or beautiful. Society has such a narrow definition of what beauty is, which is really quite sad. We coach our children from an early age to believe that to be beautiful they need to conform to a certain set of standards. Thing is we're not all the same, we can't be and never will be. Those beauty standards are so unattainable for 99% of our society, so why are they the "norm"?

I've always been on the fat side of the coin. The only time I came close to the other side was when I was 18. I was smoking and drinking instead of eating, not exactly the picture of health, but never the less the smallest I've ever been. You know what though, at the time I though I was fat. My head was so fucked up with the misconception of what was beautiful that even at my thinnest I was my own worst enemy. Not surprising really after all the gobbledegook that had been shoved into my brain my whole life.

It's takes a lot of hard work to undo years of engrained self loathing. As a kid and especially as a teenager I always despised my little sister for getting the "good" genes. She had this beautiful clear skin that would tan the moment she stepped into the sun. She had gorgeous straight brown hair that always looked so pretty. I on the other hand had red frizzy hair and the closest I got to a tan was when my freckles multiplied and connected together over the summer. I was always complimented on the colour of my hair, it was the one thing people seemed happy enough to comment on. I remember a relative saying to my mother once "She's got such a pretty face. If she just lost some weight she could be so beautiful". This was said about my sister, I don't think she heard it at the time, but I did. Even though it wasn't said about me, I internalised it. My brain converted it to "They think she's pretty even when she's fat. You're not pretty your just fat". I still think about it today, obviously, and can't quite believe that it was said or the amount of damage that that one sentence did.

Body+ is about dispelling all the bullshit that we're fed about what beauty is. This movement is slowly spreading. More and more people are becoming aware of the different groups that work to promote a change to a positive body image. Body+ is my way of contributing to the movement as well as reinforcing these new beliefs for myself.